Friday, August 25, 2006
clubs are a very bad place to meet people after you have not seen them for a long time
yes they are. you end up screaming personal information at the top of your voice, before realizing that you have a thousand and one more things to say to the person, but this is just not the place and time for it because the ground is vibrating and the other party is either desperately lipreading under strobe lights, highly distracted, or drunk.but it was still good fun. way to go cum. its been a long time since i've been in a s'porean club. the band (the late one-- NOT the student one, which massacred every song i did and did not know) was great. alroy, mich and i chilled in there for awhile before i decided not to be antisocial. there were more freshers than i thought there would be. everyone was from rj. everyone looked familar in that you-sat-next-to-me-on-our-primary-school-schoolbus kind of way. it was exasperating at first but just fun later. singapore is a tiny place. microscopic.
i am glad that i went. but then, getting back into all the old activities makes me feel like i;m letting my life here shade back into meaninglesness and mediocrity. it frustrates me and yet i feel powerless about it. why should i feel this? my life is not meaningless and it is not mediocre. i've just had the most amazing 2 months of my life, and yet i;m falling into all the typical traps. if i was god, i would be so annoyed with me. its like, nothing he does for me can lift me out of my lethargy. but i know that this is amatter of personal decision. i can choose to make everything i do different, whether its going clubbing or grabbing lunch or doing the dishes or just existing. i have everything i;ll ever need to do that. when i didn't have my old creature comforts, god satisfied me. what's so amazing about being under contract not to drink for 2 months? only yesterday, when i was talking with van, did i realise that i did not once think of drinking at all, in all the time i was there. its not that it never crossed my mind, but if it ever did, it just wasn't significant. it was a non-issue-- it mattered so little and i didn't need it at all.
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